All Hell Done Broke Loose Again, But I Do Have Palmetto Berries

I've been away for a few days. But upon returning to my blog site, I'm thankful to find that my Russian readers did not abandon me. Indeed, their hits represent about 99% of my traffic this week. Perhaps I should move to Moscow or St. Petersburg or some place where I have a true fan base (at least 15) and can escape my current reality.

Because my current reality is really difficult. But it is my family's reality, so I will not abandon it, despite my fantasy to wake up oblivious in Siberia.

Yes, our reality is one that causes most people to shrink in fear, grasp for words, and thank their wooden countertops that it is not their life (don't worry; we know this and we do not blame you).

Current reality is that my husband has Stage IV incurable colon cancer. We were led to believe there was hope for remission, given aggressive chemotherapy. So we began chemo last week, and 24 hours later, my husband lay in a hospital bed fighting for his life as a result of heart damage caused by the poisonous drugs.

Please do not misunderstand me. I am not - in any way - blaming the oncologist or regretting the decision to proceed with chemotherapy. Given the advance stage of his cancer, chemotherapy was - and is - the right path. Chemotherapy has risks, and we were well aware of them.

Alternative treatments? As much as I love green tea and wild mushrooms from the far corners of the earth, there is simply not enough evidence to convince me that alternative approaches, alone, will cure my life partner. And in the absence of convincing data, I will continue to pursue with a vengeance the evidence-based chemotherapies while simultaneously shoving raw vegetables, vinegar, grapefruit juice, Siberian chaga mushrooms, and other alternatives down his throat.

But for now, the issue of what kind of ginseng root and palmetto berries I procure for Lewis seems something of a moot point. Our immediate task is to keep is blood pressure far above the undetectable level to which it recently dropped. And to help his heart pump more efficiently than its current level of 25 (an ejection fraction, with 60 being the goal). Diet is certainly critical, and I have scoured the Internet and grocery stores for recipes and ingredients necessary for low sodium meals for a thin man who does not need to lose weight. A challenge, but we're getting there.

Ginseng root and palmetto berries may very well be a part of the answer, not just for fighting the cancer but also for strengthening my sweetie's heart. This journey is teaching us a lot, and I'm doing my best to keep an open mind.

This ain't the most entertaining blog, but it let's you know where I've been. To my Russian pals - your visits to my blog are a godsend. Я благодарю вас.